Part of #TeamBev – Nic and my fave cousin Ray
We all do it, and women are masters of it…yep, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
When you’re going through something horrible and you pretend like you’re fine. But you know what? It’s ok if you’re not ok, it really is.
Everyone has their shit…and by that I mean marriage break-ups, relationships dramas, friendship breakdowns, family stuff, work shit…whatever it is, it’s important to you.
I’m a massive advocate of having a good cry now and then when needs must. That emotion has to go somewhere and in my experience it either comes out as anger and frustration or tears. I prefer the first option, but it doesn’t work for everybody.
Nic will attest to the fact that for most of my divorce, may face leaked and it leaked often. Yep, ALL THE TIMES!
I wasn’t at my finest for any of that time…basically, I wasn’t ok. I drank too much, I hooked up with the wrong dudes and I made some dubious life decisions. But my heart was broken, into a million tiny little pieces and I had to piece it back together any way I could.
But in the end it turns out that writing was incredibly good therapy for me, and I got a book out of it, so hey… #alwaysasilverlining
Anwho, I digress. Women are masters at putting on brave faces and Nic and I are two of the best. Why do we do it? Well, often because society decrees that we should. As a rule people are generally uncomfortable when someone cries or loses their shit. But the simple fact of life is that it’s going to suck sometimes, and you need good people to get you through those times.
I can promise you one thing for sure and certain, when you come to the end of your awful time, you will know 100 per cent who your people are and they will remain your people forever more.
Yep, she’s my people.
But in the meantime, the best advice I can give you is to be kind. Be kind to yourself while you let things settle, be kind to your body, as much as you can be, be kind to your mind and go and get some therapy to help you through whatever it is you’re facing.
And remember that this too shall pass. Nothing lasts forever, not even the bad times.
Do talk to a trusted friend about it, someone you can call on when things get really rough and someone who is not going to throw it all back in your face when it suits them. Real friends don’t do that to each other. Ever.
And remember to check in with the men and the kids in your life on this one too. Men don’t always ask for help when they should and sometimes kids see adults putting on brave faces and do the same. Monkey see, monkey do…
There’s a lot to be said for even just asking someone if they’re ok. Sometimes it’s all about asking the right question. At the right time.
However you do it, lets just make a pact right here and now to look after our people. And be good humans. Yep, at the end of the day my Great Grandma’s favourite saying rings very true indeed… “do good and good will come to you” …words to live by.
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